don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
