Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
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Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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