she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
