this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere