Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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  (732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi
  Replies (15) Good night (1610) Bad night (5095)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4344) Bad night (1142)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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  (617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90
  Replies (8) Good night (1287) Bad night (4171)
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  (760): View more from California

  I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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  (760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo
  Replies (7) Good night (1070) Bad night (3493)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You working tonight?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess

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  (908): You working tonight? (856): Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess http://tfl.nu/kicb
  Replies (10) Good night (2576) Bad night (1638)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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  (816): this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..? http://tfl.nu/c9f0
  Replies (9) Good night (1744) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

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  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
  Replies (8) Good night (555) Bad night (1705)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.

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  (301): Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging. http://tfl.nu/m3cv
  Replies (7) Good night (1732) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???

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  (845): HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW??? http://tfl.nu/wpwb
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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  (780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (509)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.

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  (585): I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis. http://tfl.nu/v0yv
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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  (424): Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner. http://tfl.nu/wg9u
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.

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  (407): Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather. http://tfl.nu/p43l
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter

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  (541): He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter http://tfl.nu/mn2b
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.

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  (904): Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/qht2
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (608)

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