If that was your dad, he is hot
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.