She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.