5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
