yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?