Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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