i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're too hungover to prance.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
