I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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