Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
