no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize