every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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