You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
