Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
