Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
as a side note pls kill me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
