i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
