Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
