She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it hurts more in the daytime
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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