I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
