i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
