I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
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You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize