32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
