Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
