Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
