I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
