I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize