i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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