whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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