I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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