This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
