remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
