now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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