I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
