Do you still have your period?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
