Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
