I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
