I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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