remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize