So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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