so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
