when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize