I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
