how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
