Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
