OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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