Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
