I looked at my own cervix.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
