just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize