this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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