If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
