apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
