the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
