he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
