If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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