Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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