she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
