What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
