He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
