Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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