Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We left the knife in your bed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
