stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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