For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
