he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
