I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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