Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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