Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
