What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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