I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
