I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i would punch a child for taco bell
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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