The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
