I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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